Happy Birthday

Me and Crazy Aunt Mari, 1971

I went looking for a picture of me and Crazy Aunt Mari to post today, and realized there just aren't that many.  This one is from April or May of 1971.  The smell of the housecoat in the picture is one of my earliest memories.  Short on maternity wear, she wore it a lot as her pregnancy with my cousin, Michael, progressed.

That year, my mom was having some pretty heavy duty issues (sort of like every year, actually), so I spent most of my time with Crazy Aunt Mari, and/or my grandparents.  Sitting in her lap was a place of comfort, and safety.  I loved feeling Michael kick, and smelling her long hair.  I can remember the degree of anger and jealousy after Michael was born, when he was always in "MY" lap, my unofficial throne. That really sort of set the tone for me being bossy and annoyed with him for about the next twenty or so years.

Michael was the love of her life.  When she got pregnant at 20 years old, the doctors straight up told her to go have an abortion, because with her severe scoliosis, she and her baby would likely die.  I often believe that her next truest love in life was proving people wrong.  Now that I actually like my cousin in our adulthood, I occasionally ponder and celebrate the degree of stubbornness that allowed the world to be blessed with a brilliant writer and beautiful artist and singer-- giftings of which have also found their way genetically into the sweet soul that is my cousin's son, Avery.

First Day of Kindergarten for Me, 1974

As I was sorting through photographs this morning, I realized that part of the reason why there aren't too many pictures of her and me together during my younger years is that she was always behind the camera, and busying herself with whatever was making moments special for those of us in front of the lens.  Trips to theme parks, the ocean, random road trips, all were chronicled with care.  The most amazing Halloween costumes, well-thought Christmas gifts, and the grooviest little outfits a kid could wear; I don't think until today, I really appreciated how much she put into normalizing what was a very unstable time in my early life.

Halloween 1974

Were she not in heaven, today she would have turned 65 years old.

Today, I've got Janis Joplin, Elton John, CCR and Bob Dylan grooving on my beat box in her honor.  For what I lack in pictures, I forever have ensconced in memories of the songs that remind me of her...

Happy birthday, Aunt Mari.