Where's My Doggone Mooseburger, Sarah?

Governor Palin-- May I call you Sarah? You winked at me last night, and youbetcha, you looked at me like you want to be my best friend, so I assume we can be on a first name basis. Anyway, Sarah, I just want to give you your props for the debate last night.

Once again, you did a really great job speaking to the camera. You've definitely got that whole macking with the camera thing down.

You did a stellar job managing the massive amount of information you were shoveled from your handlers. You are a regurgitater extraordinaire. And how giddy you seem by the fact that 84% of those watching you thought you did better than expected. But since the bar was set so low for you, I hope you realize the embarrassment those numbers represent.

The degree of hopelessness in our nation is so prevalent, that we've left the bar on the floor. It's as if we cannot even dare to put forth a kernel of expectation that the woman who has been stationed as a prospective leader-in-waiting could actually generate hope for the future of our nation. We collectively left the bar on the floor for you, Sarah. All you had to do was step over it, and yet, it feels like you barely did that.

I was STILL holding out some little tiny inkling of a hope that you would say something that would show that you DO know how to handle yourself in the national arena. I'm going to stop holding my breath on that count.

I've begun to realize that the best way to view your attempts to win my affection is to do so as if you are Sarah Palin-doing-Tina-Fey-doing-Sarah-Palin. It's just less painful to think of you as the parody's parody. Otherwise, I am forced to believe that you really want to win me over using your mean-spirited, sarcastic, and condescending tactics. While I may not be this century's Einstein, neither am I the village idiot. You've now asked me twice to place my faith in the leadership of a McCain-Palin ticket, and yet, you have done absolutely nothing to prove yourself worthy of my vote.

You seem energized since the debate. A little more sure of your steps, and I wonder why. You did a great job of reciting the party line, no doubt. But you were debating someone who has also read the play book, and gosh darn it, has even been on the field, and plays as if he knows that the stakes are serious. Joe Biden was so extremely gracious to you, Sarah. And I don't even think you realize it. He could have cleaned his cleats with you, but he showed you grace and mercy instead.

The greatest thing you could do for your country right now Sarah, would be to admit to yourself and our nation that you're not ready for the race which has been set before you.

Be gracious to our nation, Sarah Palin.