OMG, is that YOU?

Call it a coincidence, a divine appointment, or whatever else suits your tastes, but I just had an encounter that I would never have envisioned in the rest of this lifetime.

I was downtown this evening, the obligation of taking my dad and his dogs to the vet being canceled at the last minute. I took a quick stroll around Marketfest, a bit disappointed that I’d managed to arrive there while Los Penguos were on break, and lacking the energy to stay for their next set.

As I was walking back to my car which was parked in front of Market Street Steak House, I was momentarily immobilized by the view of someone out of the corner of my eye. I watched as this man strolled into the vestibule of a building across the street. I was cognizant of the breath that finally left my body as I unlocked my car door and got inside. Could it really be him? I was desperately trying to think of the last time I’d seen him. 1988? 1989?

I started my Honda and whipped a U-turn in the middle of Market Street so that I could negotiate a left turn onto Sacramento St. Before I made the intersection, I saw that he was two cars behind me in traffic. I pulled into a diagonal parking spot on Market. I use the term “parking spot” loosely, since the curb at my front bumper was blazing red.

I opened my door and got out of the car, standing like an idiot as I watched his car pull up to the light. His brake lights went on well short of the intersection, and then he backed up and rolled his passenger window down. I couldn’t believe I was staring at him. He looked older. How could either of us not, with the two decades that had passed?

Ultimately, he pulled into an adjacent parking lot and got out of his car. The gaze we initially shared was some strange combination of, “Is it really you?” and “Doesn’t this seem like the most natural occurrence in our vastly separate lives?”

This was the first man I’d ever loved with that wholly irrational, unconditional, follow-him-to-the-ends-of-the-earth kind of devotion. We’d met when I was working at the Big Wheels in Shingletown and he used to make vendor deliveries there. We dated off and on for over a year. The “offs” were as deep and dark as the “ons” were high and mighty.

He walked up to me and hugged me like only mere minutes had passed since the last time we shared an embrace. He has grandchildren now. I have grown children. He has hair that is more gray than not. I have hair that is more fake than not.

As I gazed at him through our conversation, I realized that I still felt 100 percent of that same spark that united us when we were younger. The difference today is that I am about another 1000 percent more of a person now than I was back then, as he is, too. The love that once filled almost the entirety of my existence, now only covets a small spot, for the expansion that decades of life does bring.

What was enormously comforting about the entire encounter was his comment, “As soon as I saw those eyes, I knew….” With so many changes going on about and in me lately, I’ve been struggling in some regards with who I am, on multiple levels. It was truly awesome to connect with someone who could look into me transcendently—through decades of time, births of children, failed marriage, sickness, successes, failures, obstacles, and victories, and see into the memories of a time we shared that was cherished, and beautiful, and apparently, resilient.